Goodbye to Otzma

In just a few days it will have been a month since Otzma ended. Since we stood together on the Tayelet overlooking a stunning view of Jerusalem and said goodbye to Israel and one another. For me the past month has been full of too many goodbyes and a new start to my life. Unlike most other Otzmanikim, my goodbye to Israel was only temporary. I was home in the US for less than two weeks and then I returned to the apartment in Jerusalem I was on the search for during the majority of Part III. I have another year in Israel, appropriately titled the Year in Israel Program, it is my first year of Rabbinical School at Hebrew Union College. I had two weeks in between one intense experience ending and quite literally the rest of my life beginning.

It's been difficult trying to process the end of Otzma and my amazing year and still getting acclimated to a new lifestyle in the same country. It's strange being in Israel not in the context of Otzma. I miss my friends terribly and the closeness of a group who has endured everything together for an entire 10 months. Otzma was by far the most significant amount of time I've spent in Israel and so my association with Israel is now centered around Otzma and all of my Otzma friends.

I've been struggling since I returned to give Israel to create new associations in my mind. As odd as it has been there is a comfort in the familiarity of the the city and the country. My daily activities are all new, as are the people I am surrounded by, but Jerusalem remains the same. As I'm transitioning I know the country still works the same, or doesn't really work, depending on how you look at it. This weekend I'm going to Yokne'am to visit my adoptive family and enjoy the comfort and familiarity of being there.

As I do become more comfortable being in Israel but in a different setting I expect to still have the constant reminders of Otzma, whether it is visiting a family or friend I connected to last year, or hearing a speaker (I already have!) we heard on an Otzma seminar. I know my Otzma year has set me up for a better life in Israel than I would have had here otherwise. I know this extra year only gives me more of a chance to put down roots here that I can always return to.

In some ways after this year Israel feels so comfortably like home and in other ways it couldn't be more foreign. But what I realized during my brief visit home is that I missed even those crazy foreign aspects while I was away. On Otzma I fell in love with Israel when I wasn't even trying and I built friendships that will last a lifetime. It's almost impossible to say goodbye but luckily for me those two things are still here whether or not right in front of me at the moment.

So rather than a goodbye to Israel, I'm saying goodbye only to Otzma and I'm looking forward to a year filled with Otzma reminders.

Thanks for reading!

Best,

Andi