Am I "home" yet?

I was on Gchat the other night talking to my friend, Naomi, who is back in The States (I love how I would never refer to the US as "The States" when at home but the moment I cross an ocean, it's the first thing that escapes my mouth). Naomi and I studied abroad in Florence together our junior year of college and had a few talks while there comparing our experiences living in Florence to the few days we had spent in Israel on birthright.

Interestingly, we had both said how shocked we were to feel immediately at home in Israel on the trip and curiously compared our feelings to the city we grew to love after living there for 4 months. So, the other night, I shouldn't have been surprised when she asked me if I was feeling at home in Israel after being here for a month and a half. I had to really think about my answer before I gave it because the truth is, it didn't come to me right away.

I honestly can't say I feel Israeli. I still believe in the value of an organized line and I just don't know if I'll ever be pushy enough to pay for my groceries in the order I actually arrived to line in. I don't speak hebrew with any amount of ease which clearly makes feeling at home in a country more difficult.

But there's still something about it here, something I find difficult to put into words. I don't know if it's that everyone is Jewish because more than once I've felt uncomfortable being in highly religious settings. It could just be the welcoming nature of the people here or any number of other factors. But what it comes down to is that while I can't say I necessarily feel "at home" here, I do feel very close to home. I actually feel like if I wanted to I could just go home for the weekend. I know technology helps to keep me feeling so connected, but all of the same modern technologies were available when I was in Florence too and still I felt worlds away living there.

I don't know how to say it in any other way, but there really is something about being here where I just don't feel that far away. It might have to do with Florence being a smaller Italian city with relatively little American influence whereas Israel is undeniably more of an Americanized culture that makes me more comfortable. In the end, I'm sure I could come up with endless ways to explain away those feelings but I can't ignore that there is just something about being in Israel that's special to me in a way that it doesn't compare to any other place.

Erev Tov,

Andi